They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where shifty ideas come from!!Nurse to patient. I am sorry, Mr. Jones, but your HMO does not pay for enemas. I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.Other lady:I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank thinks he’s straight.The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move, answered the child innocently.“You did what?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “ you know,” explained the boy “I leaned over and went pssst into its ear and it didn’t move.”An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, how do you expect to get into heaven? He thought it over and said “well I will run in and out and in and out and keep. A corpsman walked up to me and told me I was hit. I looked at him strangely and asked where. He grabbed my right arm and showed me the blood. I glanced down; some shrapnel from an RPG had hit me in the back of my right biceps and hand. Blood had run down my arm to my wrist where it had dried and left a congealed, sticky, black and dark red crust. I holstered the M9 that I still held, and peeled off my glove. A small metal fragment had hit the back of my hand probably at the same time as my biceps. I hadn't noticed it because of the adrenaline high, it hadn't gone in deep and I could still use my hand and arm. It was strictly superficial but it was bloody. I walked over to Doc and showed him. He pulled out the small piece, wiped the area, and sent me on my way. No need for stitches just a little butterfly closure and good as new. The biceps wound was just a little bloody hole about the diameter of a pencil. A look into it and no metal so off I went with a Band-Aid. Clint got the worst.
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